Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Artistic Rendering: Eva Mendes & Ryan Gosling's Baby

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes's baby sparked a Twitter storm that rivals Sharknado. See what I did there? Two storm references. As an exceptionally talented graphic designer, I took it upon myself to free up the speculation of just how adorable the celebrity couple's baby will be. I recreated their baby in Photoshop using the best parts of their individual good looks and let me tell you, wowza, this baby is at the top of the good looks food chain.

Please feel free to share this pic with all of your friends, or enemies. And thumbs up-it and tweet it if you like it, if it scares you or just because I'm tired and everyone else went home and I spent way too much time on this mildly scary project.

Send us your "Baby Hey Girl" captions phrases and I'll send you your very own Baby Gosling Ecard. @HeatRush

Monday, December 8, 2014

Louis C.K. I Love You - A Louis Love Letter

Dear Louis C.K.,

I love you. 

I know you don't really believe in marriage anymore, but in a metaphorical-non-legally-binding-no-expectations kinda way, I want to marry you. 

Top Ten Reasons I love you Louis C.K....

1.  The gentle glow of your balding ginger head seems to beg me for smooches and pats. The carrying out of which would fulfill my maternal instincts in alluring new ways. 

2. Your resigned attitude on life. Reality made you work for so long before rewarding you. Along the way it seems like you detached your Self from all hope, emotions and long-lasting narratives of meaning...much like the great Buddah. I find your feelings of meaninglessness very transcendental, and your wisdom, well, grrrrowwwl.

3. You are the perfect amount of fat.

4. The consistency of your wardrobe makes me feel emotionally secure.

5. Shall I compare the cadence of your masculine voice to the sweetness of a Mozart symphony? And yet, its good humor rivals the french cacophony of Karl Lagerfeld's trademark slur. The paradox of which, is a divine pleasure to my heart and mind.

6. You have this twinkle in your kind eyes that connects me to the sublime consciousness. Even when your mouth is talking about rape, and slave-ownership, somehow, I trust your spirit is shouting LOVE

7. I could imagine you taking in a homeless whore off the streets like Van Gogh, and warming her soul and mind with the generosity of non-judgmental spirit. For some reason, that gets me viscerally excited. 

8. You are a maverick. You are revolutionizing the business of comedy through your innovative takes on c.d. sales and live shows. You are like that primordial hunter in the tribe that discovered how to run bison off of cliffs for an easier kill. 

9. Sex with you would be sensory. Sweat, pudge, donut residue...Anthony Bourdain's pallat would weep with envy. 

Reasons to Love Heather Rushworth

There are many benefits to marrying me.

TOP REASON: I am 26 and in my sexual prime which is needless to say... fun to be around. My womb emits glorious good feeling energy around the clock in the hopes of getting men to fornicate with it. I don't really know if wombs have hopes and dreams, but if they did, mine would want to get close to you. 

2. I am college educated and have six thousand dollars in student loans you could help me out with.

3. We have the same skin coloring. You wouldn't feel pressured to sunbathe in Barbados with me.

iPainted - Growing Up

My creative inspiration this week for my art was 'Growing Up.' This all had to do with the fact that I applied for an editor job at my favorite magazine 'Rookie' which if you haven't heard about is this awesome, feminist culture, art, advice and dating magazine for teenage girls ( I'm twenty six and would feel lame and white-van-esque for reading a blog targeted for 16 year olds, but I am super into how the magazine uses young, hip illustrators and writers for the majority of its content and aesthetically I am stoked on how it mixes vintage nostalgia with a messy sort of hipster, wonderchild angst.

One of my artistic awakenings as a teenager came when my best friend Ginger (who has introduced me to everything I know as cool) showed me the Todd Solondz film 'Welcome to the Dollhouse,' which is this delightfully weirdo film that is super provocative while at the same time full of happy ha-has. (Never show this on a date. I did and we never talked again. What a loser! On second thought, ALWAYS show this on a date. It will weed out yuppies faster than you can say Saaaaaab)

I remember the movie stimulated my dark sensibilities about humor and boundaries and I found the whole viewing experience quite liberating. And visually, it is super saturated with vintage wholesomeness that contradicts the demented glee of the film.

Here is a terrible watercolor of the film's heroin:

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

BMZ Episode! November 11, 2014: Celeb Nip Slip!

#BMZ: Another Celeb Nip Slip?!?!??! CEO: Sonic OnAir #wannaBMZ (Fake TMZ Show) #TMZPS: If anyone knows Jerry from Jerome's, we need to style out our set!
Posted by Energy 103.7 on Tuesday, November 11, 2014